Out of sight, look, uh, out of mind, yeah, uh
I can't lie, I'm detached, I need guidance - Boogie

The same traits that make us a hero can easily be used to make us a villain

Be careful what emotion you let consume you

You could be in for a long fight

There should be no rush in putting good content out to the masses. If it’s quality there is no timeline for that.

“Your wounded soldier”

It’s April 22nd and I’m meeting up with my Dad to have a conversation. I haven’t seen or spoken to him in person in 1,2,3,4,5,6,7 damn don’t know how many years and I’m playing it cool but I’m nervous. Yeah I’m grown but why do I feel like a little boy again? No matter which way I position myself to feel solid and nonchalant I can’t escape the unsettling feeling in my chest. I figured smoking would help settle my nerves but nah. I got questions running through my mind.

How’s he going to react to seeing me? He missed a huge chunk of my life so I wonder how he’ll respond when I tell him about my childhood, teenage life and what I’m up to currently.

Will we get that far in the convo?

And what about him?

Who is my father?

I’ve shaped my perception of him through the mouths of others all my life and with his absence, he left space to fill in the blanks with whatever I was told and the hurt felt by not having him around is all I can feel. I was your first son. I thought you would’ve held me down and raise me up but you ghosted me like I was worth nothing you. Why? I’m walking and getting closer to this restaurant and the nerves are still growing but writing my thoughts out is helping. Guess I’ll see where this goes.

I wonder how many other people have a tough time remembering that the world they create in their head sometimes isn't real

The Devil has a way of showing him or herself in the form of strangers, friends, paranoia. Upset when you shine, uncomfortable when you smile. Using chaos and confusion to set the stage of your own destruction. Time to get clear

“Vibrations”

I wonder why you don’t consider the weight resting on my shoulders. Why evertime I get a message, it reads:

“ I need a favour”

“ Where you at, I need you to do”

“Yo can you?”

It’s a battle you know… to see you name pop up on my screen ignites me but opening the message puts me out. I give in because like you, I need you too. A young man longing for somewhere to belong or someone to listen and understand me… Damn can you help me? fuck. I know we’re both drowning but this feels like you’re stepping on my back to keep yourself afloat. The thought of giving so much to the point where I’m drained runs through my head and now I run from you. Another vibration… fuck this phone. Besides, my phone bill is sky high and Rogers is bout to cut my line. For once something me and them agree needs to happen. Bless up